Practice makes a better writer and with it, your child will ace the Year 7 NAPLAN Persuasive Writing section!
Strong persuasive writing skills will pave the road to success beyond the exam.
We’ll review five key points to improve skills and close with a list to help your child practice. Along with that, we’ll review NAPLAN Argumentative Essay sample answers both strong and weak to strengthen critical thinking on exam day.
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When these are used poorly, the reader has to stop and the meaning becomes unclear.
Let’s review some NAPLAN Persuasive Writing examples from real students.
Topic: Teaching Poetry in Schools
Here’s what a student has written: Poetry is not an important subject as its purpose is to express inner feeling. Other subjects such as Mathematics and Science are very useful and actually educate people. So spending time on a subject hat is not vital or important is not productive, as this time could be used to improve knowledge of more important subjects.
Error 1: Feeling Here’s how it should be written: Feelings. Here’s why: People have many emotions, feelings needs to be plural.
Error 2: So spending time on a subject hat is not vital or important is not productive, as this time could be used to improve knowledge of more important subjects. Here’s how it should be written: Spending time on a subject that is not vital is not productive. This time could be used to improve knowledge of more important subjects. Here’s why: “That” is misspelled. The writer used a run-on sentence and two synonyms together. Writers need to break ideas into separate sentences for flow. Even if ideas are related, it will seem disorganised and lacking an understanding of punctuation. Finally, “so” is a transition word. It generally shouldn’t be at the start of a sentence in formal writing.
Persuasive writing is also about the audience. The topic will give clues to who the reader will be. If the topic is teaching technology in schools, the reader will be different than an essay about graffiti.
While organizing ideas, think about what the reader already knows.
Select 3-5 key ideas from this and explain your opinion on each one. This tactic will make the essay seem more thoughtful and mature.
Let’s now go through a NAPLAN Persuasive Writing Prompt from a real student.
High-scoring Persuasive Writing Example
Topic: Teaching Technology in Schools
Example 1 (see this student’s essay): A disadvantage of teaching technology in primary schools is that the money spent on technology could be utilized for upgrading school facilities. In order to teach technology, there are huge costs involved such as the purchase of computers and software packages. There are primary schools in regional and remote parts of Australia that need new playgrounds, sporting equipment and books for the library. Since play and books are vital to student learning in the early years, the money spent on technology could be used to improve essential school facilities.
Here’s why it’s good: The writer immediately states the disadvantage as the main idea of the paragraph. Next, the writer gives two strong supporting details that are related to the main idea. The second supporting detail is a real-life example, making the essay feel real. Finally, the concluding sentence summarizes all of the ideas in the paragraph.
Wrong! In most cases, long sentences tend to make ideas seem disorganised. The best way to write is to have a good mix of both long and short sentences.
Let’s now go through a NAPLAN Persuasive Writing Prompt from a real student.
Low-scoring Persuasive Writing Example
Example 2: Secondly, Inventors are key to humanity and think of how many children would be interested incoming which will lead into inventing. Technology isn’t just games on computers, It is also maths and science, so by teaching kids technology/coding it will also help kids in other areas in school that they may not be as well at. Children are able to invent things from an early age if they have the right mind to and with coding they can!
Here’s why it needs work: Overall, it has too many long sentences, making ideas seem disorganised. The writer wants to talk about how learning coding can benefit kids, but is also discussing inventions in the same sentence. These ideas need to be in separate paragraphs because they’re unrelated.
Clear ideas show an understanding of both sides of the topic. Present the topic as a problem, and then write the leading statement. Each topic should have no more than 5 supporting details for the main idea. Hence, each paragraph should not explain more than one detail each. This method will also help in organising the essay.
Let’s review a NAPLAN Persuasive Writing task example from a real student.
Topic: Parental monitoring using phone apps
Example (see this student’s essay): Secondly, if parents see what they are doing in a daily basis they can know if the child is doing a bad or good thing.If the child was watching YouTube you could see if the child is being sensible by watching good videos, or being naughty and watching bad videos. So you can catch them by seeing what the the child is doing.
Here’s how it should be written: Secondly, if parents see what their kids do everyday, they’ll know if it’s good or bad. If the child uses YouTube, you can monitor what videos they watch. It’s easier to catch them because these smartphone apps keep a record of what people do.
Here’s why: The original was too wordy and informal. Keep sentences short and don’t use unnecessary words to explain things. Remember that the reader will have some background knowledge on the topic, so use synonyms when possible to keep it brief.
Next, review your selected supporting details before writing. Do they all make sense? Are any off topic? Do all of them have at least one real-life example that can support it?
If you can answer yes for all of these, the ideas are essay-ready. The next NAPLAN argumentative topic is about graffiti.
Topic: Is grafitti art?
Example 1 (see this student’s essay): Graffiti isn’t just any form of art which has to be done in a specific way, it allows people to be creative and make up their own mind on how they turn towards the art. Graffiti just doesn’t have to be done on a piece of paper or a canvas, it could be done on walls or just anywhere where the spray paint could land. They could embellish plain street walls and turn them into a large canvas on which pictures of elephants or a scenario could be painted.Graffiti could change the world once it starts to become more popular.
Here’s why it’s good: The opinion of the writer is clear throughout the paragraph, they view graffiti as art. Secondly, they give examples of art mediums and explain how graffiti and the tools fit into that. After this, the writer gives a real-life example of a place where graffiti could be used in a positive way. He/She does this without forcing an opinion, rather he/she shows the reader the idea. This device of showing versus telling is an advanced writing skill that can be honed with practice.
Example 2 (see this student’s essay): Secondly, most graffiti is vandalism. Graffiti is drawn on both private and public space that do not belong to the graffiti artist. Graffiti can make a place worth a lot less than it is normally worth-causing trouble for the poor owner of the property. Also, public places such as parks are made for the citizens’ enjoyment, but with all the graffiti, only the graffiti artist can enjoy the space.
Here’s how it should be written: Secondly, most graffiti is vandalism. It’s drawn on public spaces that don’t belong to the artist. Graffiti can make a place or neighborhood worth less, causing trouble for the innocent property owner. Public places are meant for our citizen’s enjoyment. If covered in graffiti, sometimes only the artist can enjoy the space.
Here’s why: Private spaces had to be removed because it implies peoples’ homes or personal spaces. Graffiti wouldn’t be here unless they want it. Carefully consider word choice, especially when supporting opinions with real-life examples. The final sentence was changed because it assumed that only graffiti artists like graffiti, which is not true. Adding “sometimes” allows the possibility of more people to like the art.
We’ve reviewed NAPLAN Persuasive Writing examples from Year 7. Armed with examples of high and low-scoring answers, it’s time to prepare your child for the exam.
While helping them through practice, use this checklist together to make sure their writing aces the test.
Your child can gain guaranteed writing improvement through practice and feedback. If you’re interested in having them work with experts through videos and tutoring, learn more here.